Just Forgive Them

When people cheat on one another in relationships, should we forgive and stay with the person knowing that the trust has been broken, or should we just forgive and move on with ourselves. What ever decision you make, make sure you made that decision for yourself. Make sure that decision was not made for the man who cheated on you or the woman who cheated on or even your children. Always ensure that you made the decision for you and you only. In my opinion, when something as devestating as cheating happens in a relationship, just remember the perpetrator only apologizes because they got caught, not for the emotional abuse that they caused. So just remember, it is fine to forgive the person for what they did to you in the relationship. However, there is no "love" law in the Universe that says that you have to stay with them. Forgive and make time for yourself.

The Energy that Speaks

I often hear people complian about the type of people they seem to keep attracting in their lives. Have you ever heard this one? "Why do all of the crazy women keep coming my way?" or "Why is every man I seem to get always abusive or controlling?" Well I seem to have the answer to any man or woman who has come across more than 4 people in their intimate relationships who are categorized as crazy, deranged, abusive, controlling, or just plain bipolar. This may be hard to hear and hard to endure, but most of the people who come into your lives are attracted to the vibration that you give off. I told you this was hard to hear. People have to remember that we are all made of energy and that energy is never created or destroyed it is just transformed from one human being to another. If you are a person who is tired of attracting the same type of person who you know is not the right one for you, the best advice that I can give you is to change your vibration and your energy. Your energy speaks to those people out there who you call "crazy", "controlling", obsessive, etc. For instance, did you know that people are like dogs. This is not to be offensive to anyone, but we are like dogs. As people, we have a very keen sense of smell. We can always sniff out each another's misery, insecurities, low self esteem, low sense of self, and lack of self confidence. Therefore, if you have any of these entities in your energy, in your spirit, or in your vibration, then you will attract that same type of person. You cannot change the person who you attract in your life, you can only change your own vibration. When you change your own vibration by instilling self respect, self love, and self confidence, then you will attract that Ms. Right or Mr. Right. When you vibrate just the opposite from your spirit, you will attract a "Ms. Right Now" or a "Mr. Right Now."

The Best Vaccine for the "Swine Flu"

Hey everyone out there in the world. I have just come up with the perfect solution and vaccination for the swine flu. Actually, there are several injections you can take in order to prevent this "so called time of emergency crisis" from happening to you. Well, one injection is called exercise. Studies have shown that people who are tall, or short, obese or thin should exercise at least three times a week in order to stay focused and to keep the blood circulating throughout the body. Another vaccination that can be used for the people of the United States is called Vitamin C. Any fruit or vegetable with Vitamin C will definitely help to build your immune system in your body. The stronger your immune system the better chance you have with fighting off all sorts of colds and this so called swine flu. You see vitamin C can be attained through eating a sufficient amount of citric fruits, mangoes, broccoli, red or green peppers, even eating an occasional slice of tomato will do the trick. Even the FDA recommends that people should have 60 mg of Vitamin C a day. Another vaccination that could be used is eating enough green leafy vegetables. Whenever someone gets sick, it is just an accumulation of germs and toxins in the body which are built over a period of time. Other more natural vaccinations include meditation, yoga, Pilate's, relaxation, plenty of water, and plenty of rest.

I was listening to the radio today and I heard about the United States of America is in a state of emergency. The government, being the bully that it is, has once again instilled fear in most of the people around the world. Now they say to get a flu shot in order to prevent this illness from happening. Say what are they serious? When has the government ever been concerned about its citizens. You see what happened in Africa with the whole AIDS and HIV epidemic. Here is a question for you. When you go to the doctor and they recommend that you have a flu shot, are you more focused on the benefit or so called benefit of the shot, or are you focused on what is in the shot that is going into your body? Be careful about that. Do you recall the true story about the black men who were used as guinea pigs when they were injected with syphilis years ago? People never seem to question about what items and ingredients are in the flu shot. However, Americans will ask a million and one questions about a car that we are about to buy. The actual flu shot contains the flu itself. These medical professionals are only telling you to get the flu shot so that they can prescribe medicine to you so that they can make their money. It is not about your health. It is about the almighty dollar.

If you are going to get a flu shot, that's fine. I would however advise all people to question about the ingredients in the shot prior to the injection. Your body is the most important thing in the world to keep happy and healthy.

PATHOLOGICAL LYING: IS IT A MENTAL ILLNESS OR JUST INSANITY?

From a my personal perspective, any type of compulsive behavior which exhibits a negative response from an external entity is equated to a mental illness. What do you think? Would someone who is a pathological liar fit this description? Is this the basic definition of someone who is a pathological liar in our society? Think about someone who you know or have known to exhibit a compulsive behavior to lie all of the time. As human beings, why do we feel the need to lie to one another whether we know the person or we don't know the person. What causes a human being to lie on a compulsive level? Well, I think that I may have the answer, but you be the judge. Speaking from interviews with clients and speaking from personal experience, I have come to realize that there is a major difference between a compulsive and pathological liar and a person who tells a little white lie. We can all attest to telling a little white lie. A little white lie is a very minor statement that we use at a particular moment. Some people tell little white lies during job interviews.

However, people who lie on a compulsive level have a well thought out, yet unconsciousnes plan to deliberately distort, twist, turn, manipulate, hurt, divide, and conquer a person, a group of people, or a situation. They are so good at what they do they because they can actually make you believe that there is a pink elephant in the room. However, do you know what is one of the best gifts that they have? They are always able to tell if honest people are lying to them. A compulsive liar can always sniff out another. You see, you cannot con a con person. There are times when compulsive liars can be dangerous as well. Have you ever witnessed the behavior to which compulsive liars exhibit when they are confronted with their own lies? It is a sight to see. Speaking from personal experience, it is best to confront them with their lies via phone contact not face to face. Remember, compulsive lying is linked to having a mental illness so be careful. Whenever you catch them in a lie, they seem to play "stuck on stupid" as if you don't know what you are talking about.

However, we must remember that all types of negative behaviors stems from the home environment. People who pathologically lie on a consistent basis are very insecure about themselves and have a very low sense of self and identity. When people have both of these things with themselves, they tend to look for something to identify with. I truly believe that people who pathologically lie are miserable people who are in deep and depressing pain. There are things to which they lack in their lives. When people lack certain things in their lives they will find a way to cope or compensate for what they have lost. Some people may use drugs to cope with pain, or alcohol to cope with pain, or self mutilation. However, others will use pathological lying as a way to cope with pain from their past. You see, compulsive lying is an intentional and deviant behavior from a human being. I think next to spitting on another human being, compulsive lying is the next worst entity to have as a human being. Therefore, is pathological lying linked to a mental illness. The answer is yes. You see, when a person does the same thing over and over again and it results to gaining a negative response from other people, then that is defined as "insanity" or having a mental illness.

Here are some ways to spot someone who compulsively lies on a consistent basis.

1. They never maintain any eye contact.
2. They have a huge problem with people who are honest.
3. They blame the whole world for their problems.
4. They laugh about everything during conversations.
5. They make up stories about everything from how their dog died to how they drove to the bank.
6. They talk about everybody in a negative way. They have nothing good to say about anyone. (Watch out for that)
7. From every story they tell you, they are always the victim.
8. They never take responsibility for any of their actions.
9. They never believe that they are wrong.
10. They use their hands a lot when they talk.
11. They don't have a care for anyone in the world.

In conclusion, since there are rehabs for drug users and alcoholics, there should be rehabilitation centers for people who lie on a compulsive and pathological level, especially if the compulsive lying has escalated to a violent result.

Book Zakia Gates to facilitate workshops about Compulsive Behaviors. Contact 215-247-3898.

When the Bully is Your Boss: The Guide to Defeating the Bully

If you thought that a bully was just found in the school yard or at the playground, then think again. Have you ever been harassed by your boss or bullied by him or her to the point where you get a knot in your stomach ever time you see them? Then this article is for you. From the Diva's perspective, always remember that emotional and mental bullying does indeed exist on every job in the nation. It can be just as effective as the physical. Remember the phrase, "words hit harder than a fist." This is a very true statement indeed. During your next job interview, one of the first questions you should always ask the interviewer is "What policies and procedures are currently in place with regards to harassment whether the person is my direct supervisor or other co-workers (i.e. sexual or bullying or inappropriate statements). Whenever there is someone that you report to on your job who thinks everything you do is wrong or "not good enough" (this should sound familiar), just remember, a boss who is a bully to you is bringing out their own insecurities on you. The first step is don't expect him or her to change his or her ways about the way they speak to you or the way they treat you because they will never change. I think that our angelic icon, Michael Jackson, said it best "If you want to make the world a better place, take look at yourself and make the change." Since we spend the majority of our time on the job then your world also includes your work environment. It is best to make the change in yourself and how you see yourself. There are some people in administrative roles who are excellent in how they delegate responsibilities among their staff members. An effective administrator has an objective and a goal on how to make the company or deparment better with regard to the services they provide. This is an administrator who is a true leader in his or her company or deparment.
An ineffective administrator solely concentrates on how many people they can terminate and harass, and bully in a matter of a week without providing any resources to help them along with their job performances. This is the type of boss to which no one wants to have. Think about this question. Think back or even think about your boss now. Does he or she make irrational decisions that have no rhyme, rationale, or reason behind it? When they make their decisions, does their interpretation of 1 +1 = 5? When it comes to your job evaluation, do they base it on a subjective perspective rather than an objective perspective? For instance, if you were given the job of the maintenance person who is responsible for cleaning up the building, then does your boss make you complete extensive reports which has nothing to do with your job description. It seems as though that some administrators just inform you of what to do just because they have a "title." Sound familiar? If you have this type of boss that you have to see day in and day out, then you don't have someone who is an effective leader. What you have is a dictator. Wasn't Hitler enough? As the employee, you have the right from birth to go anywhere you please to feel at ease and comfortable. No one, regardless of their status in any company, public sector, or private sector, has the right to harass you or bully you. From an administrator's perspective, people should only lead by example, and not by their titles or status. Do you agree? Even though I have said this, it is always said, but rarely practiced.

Here are some ways to spot a boss who is a bully. (Keep in mind that female bosses can be bullies too!)
1. They never have anything good to say about your work ethic.
2. They focus more on what you do wrong rather than what you do right. (Studies have shown that 90% of employees are performing at a satisfactory rate or better in their current jobs).
3. They evaluate you based on their personal biases of you instead of your tasks.
4. They use manipulation towards your other co-workers to turn them against you.
5. They deliberately do not inform you of meetings in order to make you look like the "slacker."
6.They bring out their own insecurities on you and your work ethic.
7. They don't allow you to be self-sufficient. ( I thought that any new position was suppose to help you grow)
8. When they are angry and upset, they do whatever they can to bring you down to their level. (Remember, "Misery loves Company.")
9. They do all of the talking at meetings that have nothing to do with you.
10. They use their status power as a means of struggle for the employees (Ever have a boss hold your check just because they know that they can).
11. They have a problem with you out dressing them. Have you ever have a bully boss give you the elevator eyes when you have on something to which they thought that you cannot afford based on your position?
12. They have no problems letting you know that they are the "HNIC."

I am proud to say that out of all of the bosses I have had over the years that these were the bosses that I learned the best valuable lesson from. I learned not to be like them. With every job that you will have, God will always make sure that you meet these type of bosses. God wants you to be better and more effective on how you will delegate tasks to your employees when you get that piece of the pie like The Jeffersons.

Most people want to seek vengenance on the boss who bullies us on a consistent basis. However, we should all know that violence is never the answer to that. When I counsel my clients about their measurement of success, I always inform them that success is not measured on how many college degrees you have accumulated, or your six figure salary, or your Mercedes, or your name brand clothes, or the amount of maids and butlers you have in your huge mansions. Your success is measured on how grateful you are for waking up every morning and seeing how good God really is to you and your family.

The next day when you go to work you can let your boss who bullies you know that you have a beautiful light and love of energy can never be touched or cut down. However, you don't have to say it by mouth. By just remaining silent and poised and professionally direct with effective communication is the key to the revenge. You see, since your bully boss does not know how to effectively communicate, then you show them how to be without any class instruction. You see, you are probably the person in your company who always has this ray of light that surrounds you everyday. You are very calm about situations and laid back about everything. There is nothing wrong with being laid back about anything. As a spiritual coach and consultant, I would rather be laid back and calm than get gray hair by the time I am 40.

Some bosses who are bullies see a laid back and calm demeanor as intimidating because they don't know how to exhibit that type of behavior. That's why they pick on you. Here is another tip for you. The next time your boss begins to bully you the intelligent thing to do is look them directly in the eye and smile at them. As in the animal kingdom, the predator never likes when the prey gives them direct eye contact. Direct eye contact is a sign of strength on behalf of the prey. Your smile is not to cover up your tears from their harsh words. Your smile is to show them that you know more about their insecurities and self esteem issues than they do.

Abuse Versus Discipline: The Child Protective Services Debate

When I conduct my monthly workshops with new employees, it is my responsibility to ensure that the people in the workshop are familiar with all of the child protective services laws and regulations. Well speaking from the perspective of the facilitator, I have to set the record straight about the Department of Human Services as well as disspell any negative connotations and stereotypes about the Department of Human Services. The Department of Human Services uses the tactic of removing the children from the home as a last resort. Therefore, there are resources that are set in place to assist the abusive parent before any removal takes place. However, what constitutes an abusive parent as opposed to a parent who enforces discipline?
If you grew when during the days of the belt, switch, extension cord, or the family dog or cat was okay to use then maybe you could define as abuse. Abuse is defined as the non accidental injury to a person under the age of 18 to which a bruise is left visible on the body. Discipline is defined as the direction set forth in order to correct or modify a specific negative behavior. How many of us have gone to school with a bruise or two. Now I have to speak from the perspective of a human being and a parent myself. In my line of work, I come across hundreds if not thousands of youths who have been court ordered to come to programs to help modify and correct their behavior. That is the discipline from our part. However, what got them here? I always felt as though that the youths of yesterday as well as the youths of today are confused. When a young person is confused about anything, the first thing that they do is lash out at anyone. They have not been taught by the adults of the world about to resolve a conflict by using their brains instead of their fists. Therefore, when they are confronted on the street by other kids, they want to fight or become overly violent. But where does this violence start? We have to remember that children only mock and mimic what they see or what has been done to them. As a parent to my beautiful 8 year old daughter, I have learned that beatings and putting my hands on a child does not resolve the problem. I remember when my daughter was 3 years old. I was in the kitchen getting our dinner prepared when I noticed that she was about to do something out of the ordinary. (As a parent, I still don't know what "out of the ordinary means) I told her to "stop." As any three year old child, she did not listen so she did it again. I immediately went over to her and spanked her on the bottom so hard that she screamed. As I returned to the kitchen to return to the boiling and brewing pots and pans, I immediately turned around to the opening of the kitchen and I noticed my daughter coming at me with a toy in her hand as if she was going to attack me with it. I restrained her hand from committing such an act. However, I had to think to myself, there was a reason as to why came towards me in an aggressive manner. Remember what I mentioned earlier, our children only mock and mimic what they see or what is done to them. At that moment, when I went to bed that evening, after crying myself to sleep about it, I realized that my daughter, just like every child in the world, is a human being. They also have feelings and emotions just like we do. Isn't funny how our bosses may yell at us for not doing right on the job, but we just tuck our tails between our legs like poor little puppy dogs. When it comes to our children at home, we want to beat them down like Kunta Kinte getting his name changed to Toby. The reason why our children are so aggressive is because the adults are so aggressive. The children of the world today are confused.
Do you remember this statement growing up in your household? Check this out. "Now look always remember, if someone hits you, you better hit them back!!!" Do you remember this or a statement pertaining to this. Well I can see why the children of today are so confused. They are confused for this reason. As the parent or caregiver, how can you preach this statement to your children about hitting someone back if they are hit, but when you smack them, hit them with belts, punch them in the arms, stomach, or any part of their precious beautiful bodies from God, they have to retreat and tuck their tails between their legs like little puppy dogs. Think about this before you want to extend your hand to your child at home. Remember funeral directors and coroners are mandated reporters of the Department of Human Services too. Here are some alternative methods to use when you want to discipline instead of abuse:

1. Teach your child to say things in an appropriate manner. (Remember children do what you do so therefore model that behavior)
2. Give your child a reason why they have to look both ways before crossing the street (Telling them "Because I say so!!" is not a valid answer)
3. If your child has to wear their winter coat because it is cold, then so do you. (Telling them that you don't have to because you are grown is not a valid answer)
4. Talk to your children like human beings and not down to them like they are dogs or they are beneath you.
5. Don't use manipulation through the Bible where it says "Honor your mother and father". If that is the case then maybe you should read the book of Isaiah where it says "And a child shall lead them."

In conclusion, from that day forward, I have never laid a hand on my daughter again and we have the best relationship in the world. We learn to talk things out and work them out together. She is a precious gift from God that I want to keep in tact with love and respect not abuse and aggression. Ask yourself this question as a parent. Would you rather have your children love you as their mothers and fathers or fear you like the bully in the schoolyard? Remember don't bring your own insecurities and self esteem problems on your innocent children.

Book Zakia Gates to facilitate workshops about child abuse and child protective services at 215-247-3898 or email her at info@zakiaszengarden.com.

America's Robotic Society: The Government's Plan

Do you ever wonder why you behave the way you behave? Do you wonder why you do the things that you do? Or why you look at people of other races or genders and stereotype them?Well the same reason why a computer does what it does. It is programmed just like you. If you really think about this with the country of America, we are like large robots with human flesh whose buttons are being pushed by the big head hunchos of the world, the government. Let's look at some situations that have happened in this country over a period of time. For instance, let's look at February 2009. If you remember, it was mandated by the Federal government that all citizens of the United States must purchase a digital television, add cable to their homes, or buy a converter box for their houses or lose their signals. Ain't that a blip. Can you believe that we live in a society where the government tells the people what they must have in their homes or else? Once again, we are being programmed like a computer. It is not the fault of the government, but it is the fault of us as human beings on this planet. We have to start to think way outside of their box. The government will only do what we allow them to do.
Here is another situation. Let's look at our schools. If you were a student in the inner city school district, it would be fair to say that you did not get the best education as your suburban counterparts received. Inner city school students, teachers, principals, and its superintendents are programmed to utilize a defaulted curriculum which is deliberately created and set up to make our inner city students employees in companies rather than employers. How about this one? Where is it written that over 90% of the people in America report to work at 9:00 am and then leave at 5:00pm with only a half hour for lunch. Therefore, as robots of America, we put in over 8 hours a day at a job and work with and for people that we don't really care for or even like. However, we give all of this time and devotion to these same people. No wonder most of our children are out of control or raising themselves or being raised by Comcast and the coverter boxes. I am not saying that we should all hit the $100 million lottery and tell our bosses where to go (I just know that you would love to do that ha ha). I just want people to think about how their brains are being programmed by standards set by society. When are people going to set their own standards and rules for themselves?
Here is another one to think about. You know how much Americans love their cars. We spend more money a month on car insurance than we spend on life insurance. Therefore, you see where the focus is and what is more important (the car not your life) to people. What a shame. Since we love our cars so much, God forbid if someone hits our cars or we have to get an inspection. Aha inspection. Where is it written that we have to get an inspection and an emissions test on our cars? We all know what happens if we drive around with expired inspection stickers. If we don't get the emissions tests, then our cars will pollute the air that we breathe. What? Are they serious? I thought that the government was already polluting our air already without our help of our cars. This is a big contradiction. Now of course, one should get an inspection and an emissions test for your car. However, the government did not inform us to get the tests done for our safety. If the government cared for our safety, then the government would not give leeway for drugs to come into America. This is just a control tactic and economic gain on behalf of the government. As you can see, the government is like a big bully. Their job is to instill fear and control into the people. I must say over the years they have managed to do an excellent job of that. Just look at September 11, 2001.
In conclusion, the government cannot do what they do without us. As people of America, we tend to feed into the bogus rules and regulations as well as the laws. Figuratively speaking, the government is the big computer and we are the information that it spits out.

The Benefits of Reiki for Holistic Products

Zakia Y. Gates is the creator and founder of the on-line company entitled Zakia's Zen Garden. Zakia's Zen Garden specializes in holistic natural products which are uniquely customized by the use of Reiki, to associate itself with the 7 charaks of the energy level of the human body. Reiki, (pronounced Ray-Key) is a Japanese concept which uses the energy from a certified Reiki practitioner guided by Divine Wisdom from the Universe in order to transfer healing energy to people or inanimate objects. I have been a Reiki Practitioner since 2005. I studied under my Usui Reiki Master, Teacher, and Shiatsu Pracititioner and friend Helena Baronheid. Using Reiki has helped me to feel comfortable in my own skin, it has helped me to gain more confidence and to feel more secure with myself as a person, as a woman, and as a mother. I started my on-line company in 2008. I said to myself, "if Reiki can help heal physical ailments in the body as well as provide a more positive energy in people, then it will work wonders for my holistic products. Therefore, I decided to create and design my soy candles, body sugar scrubs, and bath salts with Reiki. Each of my holisitc products are customized to associate itself with each of the 7 chakras of the body. For instance, one of my soy candles that I created is colored blue. This specially designed blue colored soy candle has three important benefits. One, it is made from soy which is environmentally friendly, two, it is customized from the Reiki pracititioner, and three when my clients purchase this blue colored soy candle, it is associated for the Throat chakra of the body. Our throat chakra of the body helps the Universe's children to express our wisdom or our feelings. So if and when you think that you cannot fully express yourself when it comes to asking for that raise from your employer, then purchase this soy candle for the throat chakra, light the soy candle, sit in an upright position with your head held high to the Universe and repeat this statement 3 times, "I surrender my personal will to Divine will." After that, visualize yourself expressing yourself and your job performance with your employer as well as visualizing yourself walking out of your employer's office with a smile on your face because you have earned the raise. When I begin to make any of my holisitc products for my local and national clients, I begin my giving myself a full Reiki treatment from the crown chakra (the top of the head) all the way to the root chakra. By doing this, I ask for Divine Wisdom and guidance from the Universe to help transfer this loving light of energy through my body. I sit or lay in a comfortable position without the help of music to concentrate. From there, I begin to visualize by using all of the 5 senses of the body. This method of my energy work helps me to gain a full visual of what I want my clients to get from buying the products, what I want their environments to feel like when they walk into it, what I want their families and other loved ones to feel when they walk into a room. Reiki has been such a beneficial method of energy work for the earth. It helps to bring in light and positive loving energy from the Universe so that its children can feel comfort in their own skin as well as their own environments. Therefore, go green with soy and enjoy the energy from the Universe from my holistic products.

Orgasmic Spirituality

James Baldwin once said, "We can't heal what we are not willing to face." I used this quote to help in my decision to write about my orgasmic spirituality. Some time ago, my sister forwarded me a very inspirational segment speech by Iyvana Vanzant which focused on creating a spiritual resume of your life. This speech motivated and moved my spirit to write this article for my audience. It is a valuable lesson of our lives and how we choose to live it. We all know how loving and caring the older generation has been to us. We respect their leadership and guidance and advice when they tell us that " life ain't easy," or "life is very hard." I beg to differ about that. I truly believe that life is full of the love and respect that the Universe blesses all of us with. However, the people of the earth have to make the cautious decision on how to keep and maintain that love for themselves. Therefore, life does not have to be hard. As a matter of fact, life is not hard. Life is what you make of it and what you put into it. As the Creator and Founder of Zakia's Zen Garden I decided to conduct and compose my own spiritual resume and inform the people of the world about achieving your spiritual orgasm. Learn how to keep a spiritual orgasm for the rest of your life here on earth.This is a journey that no woman, no man, or child should ever neglect. From a woman's perspective, to achieve an orgasm only requires one or two things. Maybe your vibrator or maybe your man. Either way, you achieve it. But there is only one question. How long does that sexual orgasm last? Maybe a second, maybe a minute, or maybe you could achieve a 24 hour sexual orgasm depending on how good your mate is to you and your body or if he knows what he is doing.Yes, the sexual sensation of achieving an orgasm feels good to the body, yet it does not last long for the other person. However, achieving an orgasm that feels good to your soul and spirit will last you a life time. Can we say "Spiritual Orgasm". The sensation of achieving this spiritual orgasm is one of the best feelings in the world. It is the kind of feeling that you get when you can feel the hand of the Universe touch your inner soul. It's a touch of peace of mind, serenity, and tranquility. I achieved my my spiritual orgasm in 2008 when I came to the realization that my self esteem and sense of self worth were in jeopardy. Both entities are so important to have and keep for the rest of your life. It did not occur to me that both of these gifts from the Universe help in your understanding and guidance in the world and how you relate to the people in your life. They both teach you how to treat yourself and how people must treat you. Like a naive victim, I allowed people to take my sense of self worth and identity from my soul and spirit. It took me almost 34 years of my life to realize that my self worth and identity were in a depressing crisis. From the constant conflicts of the baby daddy drama, relatives trying to control my every move of my life, to my addiction of financial debt, led to me become self destructive and almost suicidal. From not wanting to get out of bed in the morning to deliberately setting myself up in a deeper and deeper financial crises, it was apparent that my life was slowly going down the toilet without a care in the world.Then one day, I decided to take charge of my life. I stopped pointing my finger at people, and I started to turn the mirror on myself. It is amazing to see where others have hurt you, but it is not easy to turn that image on yourself to see where you could have caused that to occur. The first thing that I did was call all of my creditors to settle deliberate debts that I set up for myself. I had to take that ownership. I could no longer blame the lack of my daughter's father at the time for not wanting to help out. I just had to do it myself. Luckily for me, my creditors worked very well with me. As a result of this and over a span of 2 1/2 years, my credit score went from a 513 to a 655. I couldn't believe it. Now I watch every penny that leaves my checking account. The second thing I did was to take a stand on what I wanted for myself and my daugther. I began to go into deep meditations where I would visualize what I wanted for my life. This was not easy as well. When your life is full of such toxic waste and negativity, it is not easy to shift that energy in a positive direction. Therefore, I knew that I had to stay consistent with this task to which the Universe informed me to do. Within a matter of a few years and a strict change in my eating lifestyle, I gained a full understanding of myself, my child, as well as other people in my life. I now have more control over what I want for me as well as what I will not accept in my life.Achieving this spiritual orgasm taught me that there is a reason why there are certain people in my life. For instance, being in a very toxic relationship from 1999 to 2003 taught me to be grateful for this abusive experience. This may sound like the craziest thing in the world, but I was still grateful. After achieving my spiritual orgasm,I started to see that there are certain people in your life who to teach you things. Whether those people are good, bad, ugly, or even toxic, those people are here to teach you something. That toxic relationship along with other relationships with family or friends taught me what I don't want for myself or my next relationship. This is your spiritual orgasm. When you begin to realize why certain things happen or why certain things go on in your life, this is when you have achieved the greatest thing in your life. Now according to the Universe, you have reached a sense of security in your own skin, you begin to think on a spiritually conscious level, you have reached a sense of self worth, and you have reached a sense of who you are and why you are here. This is the type of orgasm I think any conscious human being would have rather than a sexual one. A sexual orgasm only last a few hours where as a spiritual orgasm last a life time.

The Limitations We Set for Our Daughters

From the Barbie dolls to the toy brooms and vacuum cleaners and small delicate kitchens that our little girls enjoy playing with, it is a wonder why our African-American, White, Latino, Asian, and Native American daugthers our of society never seem to become big time scientists or archaeologists. As mothers, fathers, or guardians, are we guilty of limiting our young girls from achieving great success in challenging careers or are we setting them up to just be housewives or secretaries. While there is no harm in becoming a secretary, or a housewife, what is wrong with a young lady earning a microscope or a chemistry set for her birthday instead of a Barbie doll. I would like to ask the world of women who may be reading this article; How many microscopes, chemistry sets, astronomy sets did you get for your birthday or Christmas? I have played with Barbie dolls all of my life and I still don't know what Barbie does for a living. I guess we can say that she earns multiple streams of income. I just hope that the multiple streams of income were always legal. Does Barbie have a job? When I was in graduate school I took a class in Public Management. As a class, we were allowed to choose a topic to discuss in our research papers. I decided to compose a research paper about the women in high powered positions in the United States. When I conducted my extensive research study about the percentage of women, regardless of race, color, creed, or religion, who were CEO's of top fortune 500 companies, my results of my study were pretty predictable and quite evident. I found that only an alarming 20% of women held prestigious positions as CEO's or Presidents of big companies nationwide. As a woman, I truly believe that this is an insult to our sense of womanhood and abilities. However, the way a young girl is raised in her household has a lot do to with this low percentage. There is a definite correlation and connection between the types of toys that boys are given and the types of toys that girls are given in their home environments and their outcomes in life.After I gave birth to my daughter, I knew in my mind that I would never deprive her knowledge with playing with toys that don't stimulate the mind. Even though my daughter has played with Barbie dolls, it did not stop me from buying other toys which will stimulate her mind. Along with her Barbie dolls, my daughter also has a microscope, a set of the 9 planets to which she put together and painted, as well as a chemistry set. Toy stores around the country do not have a designated aisle which says "Boys Toys" and "Girls Toys." The aisles just say "Toys." However, it is our mind set that has been triggered by our society which allows parents to set the standard on what a boy should play with and what is suitable for a girl. There are plenty of mind stimulating toys for our young girls to play with. For instance, my 8 1/2 year old daughter earned her way to get a CD-ROM from Target. With her own money, my daughter purchased a game called Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 Gold. For those of you who have never heard of the game, this is a brillantly designed game which stimulates the mind of the person who is playing. This game allows my daughter to use her creativity and intelligence at its best. Her creativity and intelligence allows her to create her own theme park rides. It allows my daughter to be the architect, the engineer, the scientist, the physicist, and the quality assurance specialist due to the safety requirements involved with all of the rides. Therefore, just a little note to all of the parents and guardians of young girls. Your little girls are going to grow up to be beautiful women. Just remember, don't set them up for failure, set them up for great success to know that they can do and accomplish anything in this world. As the Whispers said in their song, "Lost and Turned Out," "Stop using your body use your brain." So parents, start buying toys which stimulate the brains of your daughters, not their bodies.